033 - Grasshopper

[deadly_ned]

I realize this is sort of coming out of left field. It's so far left that it's left the field and into the parking lot adjacent to said field.

But.


Is there anyone here who could help me build a catapult?


It's for a friend.

Comments

[darknessb4me]

What is that? I've never heard of that.

[deadly_ned]

OSHA? It's the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. I have their guidebook. It prevents accidents in and around things like catapults.

[darknessb4me]

That sounds reasonable.

[deadly_ned]

Follow the guidelines and we should be good.

Just as soon as I can make sure of the dimensions so it fits through the CES doors.

[darknessb4me]

That's a good idea too.

[Private]

Thank you for doing this. I won't hurt anyone on purpose, but don't tell them that.

[deadly_ned]

If I can figure out how to make the top part collapsible, we should be in business.


[Private]

I know. I trust you.

I'm kind of having fun, in a guilty sort of way. Are you?

[darknessb4me]

There's got to be a book about it somewhere.

[Private]

Consistently. Making people nervous is one of the few perks I retain.

[deadly_ned]

There is. I have four books on DIY carpentry and three on middle ages warfare.

[Private]

You're very good at it. Which is strange because a gun is probably more deadly than a catapult and plenty of passengers have one of those.

[darknessb4me]

What kind of warfare?

[Private]

They're different tools. A gun can kill as many people as you have bullets, in theory. A catapult can bring down a city.

[deadly_ned]

Middle Ages? It's a. Time period in my world when we used catapults.

[Private]

How likely is it that we'll be bringing down cities?

[darknessb4me]

Why don't you use catapults now?

[Private]

We've had stranger ports.

[deadly_ned]

We seem to have graduated to more destructive methods of killing ourselves.

[Private]

I'm more concerned about the breaches than the ports.

[darknessb4me]

...Can I have one of those too?

[deadly_ned]

I'm not a scientist. I'm a piemaker. I don't have the expertise.