deadly_ned | 041 - Macintosh Apple

[And he does look pretty great. Dean had struggled to be a point of solidity and humor on the Barge, to lighten the spirits of others however he could and drag them back from various and sundry edges, but it took its toll on him. Here he is once again a creature in his element: very rarely were his eyes quite this bright, his smile quite this easy, his sense of self quite this at peace with the world around him.

He's happy. Really, truly happy. And also, presently, staring suspiciously at Ned.]

It's my natural awesomeness shining through. What's going on? Besides the obvious.

I can't make it private from my end. Do the thing if you have to.

[there's nothing that feels so good as seeing Dean in that easy, peaceful smile again. He hadn't realized how much he missed it]

Nothing.

Well, something, but mostly just that tingling feeling of regret for not..leaving sooner.

I don't believe you, by the way.

How long's it been?

Only three months. Give or take.

How long for you?

Uhhhh.... few more'n that. I think.

Look, it's weird, okay?

Why is it weird?

Because I turned 30 on the Barge and now I'm 28ish again, not counting the couple of weeks it took us to jump around through every which world on our way here, I'm back and forth between here and 20freaking51 for date night, and that's not even counting all the fuckery I'm still sorting out from floods, breaches, and that asshole other Barge.

Why wouldn't it be weird?

That does seem a little weird, come to think of it.

Have you met the other you yet?

Squeaker, is that place frying your brainpan? Yes, I've met Ben, and he's not the "other me."

It might be, but that's not really the thing I'm talking about.

Not Ben. The other Dean Winchester. The inmate.

Do what now?

There's another you on this Barge, from another..world, or timeline, or both. I'm not sure.

He's an inmate. And he doesn't remember ever being here.

And it's the hardest thing in the world to see him and not you.

[Abruptly, Dean really wants to punch something. This isn't unusual for him, but it's a little less usual that he doesn't know what, exactly, he would aim at given his preference. There's a lot to digest in what Ned just said, and because he saw the way the Piemaker's face fell, it doesn't occur to him for even a moment to doubt that it's the truth.

That scares him, though. And pisses him off. And confuses him. As abruptly, the hunter switches into business mode.]

Tell me what you know, Ned.

I know that after you'd left the Barge, he came here. And he didn't know who I was, and he's...a lot angrier, and more paranoid, and I don't know what's happened in his world but it can't be anything good.

That's all I know.

[Mainly because he's too scared to get close]

How long? What'd he do? Did you try to talk to him?

Two months...?

When he first arrived and I thought he was you. We didn't..get along all that well. Or at all, really.

In retrospect I might have come on too strong.

[And another abrupt shift. The dangerous kind. And incidentally, the kind that brings him a step closer to the wreck of a man they're talking about.]

He hurt you?

No, I'm not hurt. Neither is Digby. We just...didn't get along.

You don't want to get along with him, Ned. Not...

If he's - I'm - an inmate, you don't want anywhere near me. Him.

But he's you. And I'm your friend and..

I need to be around him. Even if it hurts. I need to make sure he'll be all right.

He's not me. I'm me. My deal was so I would never become him.

I'm not gonna try to tell you to give up because that's not what you do, but christ. You're my friend, and I'm not there.

Well, he's..paired now. I wanted to stick it out, make sure I wasn't paired with him, but I'm not.

And I think maybe it's time to just...accept the things I can't change.

Yeah. I heard that. I... [He sighs. Oh, Ned.

But that's a stranger concept, too, to consider. He's not sure he likes it phrased that way, but what it might mean?]

Ned?

Yes?

It's not failing. To go home when you've done all you can.

It's not.

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