008 - Pecan

[deadly_ned]

So.

As a first time Warden more or less mentoring a first time Inmate, there's this very important question that's been hovering menacingly near my head for the last few days like a demonic little helicopter and I would be remiss if I didn't at least ask it, even if I'm sure it's obvious to the more seasoned Wardens, Inmates, what have you.


...Is an Inmate's happiness more important than their graduation?

If you had to choose one, I mean.


And I think I should also ask to Inmates because I don't...like the unspoken divide and communication is usually an effective bridge over most divides..


What do you need from your warden to be happier?



[Private to Claire Bennet, Jesse Pinkman, the Marquis de Sade, and Megamind as a group]

Someone happened to tell me you're a dog person.

I'm trying to..rehome my dog, Digby. My Inmate is scared of them and it's probably best if Digby and I separated until my Inmate graduates. And I'd like to find someone to...borrow him, or take him, but if I don't find someone he'll have to go home and we've never been separated and I'm feeling a little...clingy.

Comments

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

...I don't understand.

Were you upset because I called him a dandelion or were you upset because I tried to corral those words back into my mouth after I'd said them?

[Private]

[buywithme]

I was a little upset when you were calling him a dandelion, but then before I had time to decide whether I was right to be upset or not, you started corralling and I panicked.

But now that I think about it dandelions are basically just extremely unpopular flowers, which is a pretty good way of looking at people like Barron.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry I made you upset with me. I didn't...mean to do that.

And I do like dandelions, I meant that. I didn't mean to preemptively pass judgement on someone I've never met.

[Private]

[buywithme]

It's all right, Comrade. I think there comes a time when I have to acknowledge that my reaction to having my friend compared to flora is one of disproportionate offense.

I don't really like dandelions.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

You don't like dandelions, I don't like magic...


Can we agree to disagree and not talk about either?

Or is that only pushing the problem under the rug to be discovered in a haze of horror later on?

[Private]

[buywithme]

Technically I don't like any nature...

[He kind of wants to pick at their respective concerns until they both bleed, but no. Ned had a point.]

I don't think magic even existed where I'm from, so it should be very easy for me not to talk about it.

What do you like?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I....won't ask. Because you're not asking about magic, I won't ask about nature.


I'm, uh.


I like my dog, and my restaurant. I like baking pies. I like my girlfriend, Chuck.

[Private]

[buywithme]

We are being respectful of comfort zones.

[Pause]

This is rare for the Barge. I am very proud of us.

[But unfortunately, dogs are a part of nature and cooking your own food is unhygenic, so Prefect has mixed feelings about the things you like.]

Those things all sound nice. [no] Is your girlfriend on the Barge?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I am too.


...Thank you, Prefect.



No. She's, um. She's back at my restaurant.

[Being dead]

[Private]

[buywithme]

You're welcome.

[Having a dead person in your restaurant is even more unhygienic! But not knowing that she is dead, Prefect smiles.]

That's good. Having someone to go back to when you're finished here. Does she make pies as well?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker would argue that she's alive again!!!! except for the being dead part]

She tries. She does, I mean, she makes them with me.

But she keeps trying to change things. Last week - I mean, the week before I came here - she gave me cupcake pans and introduced the cup pie..


I'm still getting used to that one.

[Private]

[buywithme]

The cup pie?

[Prefect frowns deeply. All of this sounds highly suspect to him... but...]

Well... new things are usually good, Comrade?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

A pie roughly the size of a cupcake.

I don't...tend to like new things, no. I'm naturally averse to change.

[Private]

[buywithme]

But new things aren't the same as change, Comrade. They're just fashions! It's like if someone gives you a new hat to wear, and you wear it for a day, then get bored of it and go back to not wearing it!

Everyone's averse to change, because it's terrible, but new things are all right!

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I'm not at all trendy. New things are change because to have new things something has to be old, something has to be switched out, and I can't make those choices on what or who to switch out.

So no. I say no to new.

[Private]

[buywithme]

[There's a little pause before Prefect replies. You would have been a really good person for him to meet five years ago, Ned.]

I think that's probably a very wise way of thinking.

So, you make pies?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I do. I'm a...piemaker.

[Private]

[buywithme]

Do you have to touch the things that go in them?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Sometimes.

I tend to use gloves at certain...stages.

[Private]

[buywithme]

[Prefect looks a little dismayed. Knowing where food comes from is the worst, but he's morbidly curious now.]

What stages are there?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Mix and knead the dough, cut it to fit the pan.

Make the filling - cut up the fresh fruit - and put it in over the bottom layer.

Layer over the top with more dough and bake.

It's...pretty standard, as far as kitchen tasks go.

[Private]

[buywithme]

Is needing the dough an essential step?

[I mean, sure, you need dough to make a pie, but does it really warrant it's own place in a procedural list?]

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

It's an important step. It's how the air gets into the dough and bakes to a fluffier crust.

[Private]

[buywithme]

Really?

That...

...But how?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

There's a science behind it.


You have two main major ingredients in dough: flour and water. You can't just mix it; it has to be pushed and pulled and stretched so that it achieves elasticity. This is because the two proteins inside flour - glutenin and gliadin - need to interlock with water to form gluten, which is the molecule that gives dough its elasticity. And the way to interlock it is to physically push around the dough until the bonds between molecules become stronger and stronger.