011 - Pineapple Crisp

[deadly_ned]

To kitchen staff and to...


Everyone. I...guess. Everyone on the Barge. Or at the very least everyone accustomed to eating food, I don't mean to be exclusive but I don't know exactly how many that applies to since I've already run into two people who don't have or don't want to have the admittedly sometimes disgusting process of digestion so common to the rest of us and.


....Sorry.


I think....what I'd like to do, in order to make everyone feel more...at home, away from home...is to start compiling requests for native dishes.

Basically..

If you tell me what you miss from your home that you don't get to eat on the Barge, I would like to try a hand at cooking it. You get to feel a little closer to home, I get to expand my recipe book, my team gets to try new skills....everyone wins? I think?

Please let me know if this is a terrible idea and if I should stop.

[Private to Cass Cain, visible to David Cain]

I.

We.

Have something for you.

Comments

Private

[with_my_teacup]

Well, you win.

[His face softens up, naturally. He likes Ned. He doesn't like Ned in pain.]

I ain't asking you to get close. I am offering to try a little harder not to die, even if I come back.

Private

[deadly_ned]

You're already close. Very, very close. Much closer than I usually let people...get.

Please don't die.

Private

[with_my_teacup]

You never told me what your favorite pie was.

Private

[deadly_ned]

I don't actually eat my own pie. Not...usually.

So I don't have a favorite.

Private

[with_my_teacup]

...do you actually not like baking? As food, I mean.

Private

[deadly_ned]

I love baking. It reminds me of home.


But I usually cook with, um.


This is sort of embarrassing to admit in front of other people.

Re: Private

[with_my_teacup]

[Eyebrow. That drifts well above the goggles.]

Private

[deadly_ned]

I cook with rotten food that I bring back to life.

It, um. It tastes better and lasts longer.

But...


Touch a dead thing twice, it goes back to being dead, again.

Forever.

Re: Private

[with_my_teacup]

That's amazing. Can we do that?

[If you had any idea what Riddick has had to eat to survive in his day, Ned. Without the benefit of bringing it back.]

But how do you eat it without touching it again.

Private

[deadly_ned]

We can. But...no one can know. You're the, um. The first one I've told, on the Barge. It's sort of a...secret.


I don't eat it. I almost never eat what I make.

Re: Private

[with_my_teacup]

You are a real hard guy to try to cook something comforting for. Just so you know.

I won't spread it around. Controlling what people think of you is important.

Private

[deadly_ned]

Please don't cook for me.



And please don't. Don't tell anyone. I know I said it already but it's. It's important to me. It's a secret I've had for twenty years. I can count the people who know about it on one hand.

Not, um.

Not even Thomas knows.

Private

[with_my_teacup]

[To his credit, Riddick manages not too look like he's been slapped. Feels it slightly. Doesn't show it.]

Look, understatement is part of my illusion. I don't promise, it sounds desperate. I mean it, but I don't say it. And people either deal with that or don't.

Nobody is going to fucking find out off me.

Private

[deadly_ned]

...I mean that. I...Can't eat meat. And I can't eat. Don't eat...a lot of things. I'm sorry. I'm just...particular.



...Right. Right, all right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have doubted you. I'm a doubting sort of person. Doubts fill my brain constantly.

Private

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah, it's almost like I've fucking noticed that food is hard for you and wanted to make some kind of effort on your behalf. Maybe that's why I asked what you did eat.

Nevermind.

[Feed cut]

Private

[deadly_ned]

Riddick, wait, I.....




[Nope. Dead air. The Piemaker turns even paler, staring down at his hands, and for once, actually curses]


Shit.