deadly_ned | 012 - Lemon Meringue

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Question.

Or, um. Query, if you will.

Why do we have the death toll?

Does it teach us anything? Don't go doing what you do or you'll get punished for it? And why a week's worth of suffering? Doesn't death make you suffer enough? I hear it can be painful.

Why just...not have a death toll? Can any, um.

Is there anyone ~~else~~ on board who can stop a death toll from happening?

Just.

Just curious.

[Strike visible to those with psychic powers]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

deadly_ned

That's....terrible. That's a terrible thing for a person to hear.

But I understand about the not...understanding part. Sometimes it's. It's easier, being alone. Although I don't think easiness is the point.

I'm here on the Barge to get rid of them. Or...control them. Control them or get rid of them.

From:

with_my_teacup

What's terrible to hear, that the Furyan race fucked itself or that I'm bad at civilization?

Anyway.

I hope it works out for you, when you get your deal.

From:

deadly_ned

Both. But, I, um. I don't think you're as terrible as you think you are when it comes to that.

I don't know. I don't know how it's going to turn out.

From:

with_my_teacup

I was pretty okay with not being able to form emotional connections until I could. Now I actually care about a few people and I actually mostly feel lonely. I'm not enjoying it.

So you can't hope? And I thought I was pessimistic.

From:

deadly_ned

That's what happens. I was alone for twenty years. I can tell you that's what...happens.

I'm sorry. I do hope. I just also have extraneous experience.

From:

with_my_teacup

You're weirdly endearing when you're fatalistic.

From:

deadly_ned

Well, you know how it is. You're around death so much you start...picking up a few excess philosophies until it all shuffles around in your brain into one big death soup.

But what you're feeling, that loneliness? I wouldn't discount that. That, it...it hurts. But I think it makes you feel more alive.

From:

with_my_teacup

Is that how it is? They just called me a sociopath. [Sort of teasing, in an awful way.]

Mostly I'm just exhausted. Spread out too thin. I don't feel real lively right now.

From:

deadly_ned

You're not a sociopath. You just need a break.

From:

with_my_teacup

Mostly I am, though. Just learned to intellectually consider other people as more than irritating scenery. It was probably a graduation condition.

From:

deadly_ned

Have I been upgraded to irritating livestock?

From:

with_my_teacup

No. You got-- inside the circle of people I actually consider people. Probably after you started teaching me. I'm not sure what triggers it.

It's not a big circle.

From:

deadly_ned

It doesn't have to be. I have...three people in my life back home. Just the three.

And then I came to the Barge and that circle got a little bigger.

From:

with_my_teacup

I didn't take you for the sociopathic tendencies. That's interesting. Helps, don't it? Makes life less stressful

From:

deadly_ned

Sometimes. Sometimes it makes it more stressful, when you're without them or something happens to them.

From:

with_my_teacup

Yeah.

....yeah.

It was easier before I knew. Not the best life, but being able to cut through anyone in my way, it was ...simple.

Right now that's not in the cards. That's not what a warden does, and I kinda need my job.

From:

deadly_ned

You don't want an easy, simple life anyway. You want rich complexity, to find out what's worth living for.

From:

with_my_teacup

Is that what I want, pieman. Becaus eI gotta say, it feels a lot like I want to go hibernate again.

From:

deadly_ned

I'm taking your shift for the next two days. Go, go relax. Please go relax.

From:

with_my_teacup

Pieman. Baby. No. Cooking's the closest I have left to a murder spree anymore. ...if you take the front and deal with people who want food and let me cook, though, I'll owe you one.

From:

deadly_ned

Deal.

I'll give you my, um. My special fruit to work with. The stuff that's died and been brought back. It tastes fresher and you can keep it to store however long you need it for.

It won't rot.

From:

with_my_teacup

I appreciate that, but now I owe you two. When you planning on cashing in?

From:

deadly_ned

Would you stop with the "I owe you"s? We're friends. Friends don't owe each other except in the loosest sense of companionship and a friendly ear.

From:

with_my_teacup

Look, the friend thing...

You don't want to get too close and I'm trying to get my distance back, too. I don't wanna rely on it, when there's just. I've got an animal in me and it wants what you people can't provide. Might be easier to keep it businesslike.