013 - Mile-High Apple

[deadly_ned]

I'm, um.

I'm leaving.

Thomas - my inmate - he's...graduated, he's left the Barge, so I think that's...probably my cue to leave too.

I'm...terrible at goodbyes, and let's be completely honest, I'm quiet enough that most of the Barge doesn't know I'm actually here, so I doubt I need to stay very long.

That sounds terrible.

I'm sorry. Something's come up. I have to go.

[The Piemaker - nervous, clearly hiding something, and agitated - leans over to shut off his communicator. Unbeknownst to him, he'll be back in a matter of days for reasons not clearly stated in this post]

[Private to the Marquis de Carabas]

And now it doesn't matter what you know.

Good luck graduating, you....bad, bad person.

Comments

[composited]

So what was your big payout, after how many months of work? Inquiring minds and all.

[deadly_ned]

Do you ask all wardens that question? It's a very personal issue. For...most of us.

[composited]

You're buying it with our souls. So, yeah, actually, I'm asking.

[deadly_ned]

Thomas' soul. Thomas, who was kind and generous enough to reject me when I offered my deal to him for whatever he needed. Your soul is not involved.

[anewlanguage]

[Cain wouldn't have expected to care, if he'd been told in advance. But there's an uncomfortable twist somewhere under his ribs and he has to work at his expression for just a split second.]

Get the hell off while the getting's good, kid.

[Which is almost the same as 'good luck'.]

[routemistress]

Remember what I said, Ned love.

[private/text]

In case you don't come back, this number reaches my office from anywhere. Call if you need me.

But come back.

[deadly_ned]

I will. I am.



I....



Good luck to you too.

[deadly_ned]

I do remember. I will.

[private/text]

I don't know how necessary that's going to be but...it's very kind.

[private]

[routemistress]

Doesn't 'ave to be necessary, my love. If you don't come back it's a way of keepin' in touch. I want that to 'appen no matter what.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

You can really have contact across universes?

[private]

[routemistress]

I can. There's nowhere my bus can't go: real, fictional, past, present, future, anything. She can do things a straight-up TARDIS couldn't do without imploding and all.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

You're a time traveler?


Can you change the past?

[private]

[routemistress]

I can. I almost never do and I won't promise it to you. You need a very clear picture of all the changes and ripples to do that - changing someone's life? It changes who they are and that's a highly dodgy thing to do to anything sentient. It changes every single thing - every other person - that ever touches 'em after the change. The multiverse can 'andle a certain amount of paradox and anomaly, but you let it run rampant and it makes a cock-awful mess. It's practically never worth it.

Tell me what you've got in mind and I'll look into it. That's the most I can promise.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

I can't. It wouldn't work. Now that I'm thinking of it, it wouldn't work at all. Everything would have been changed.

[private]

[routemistress]

[Iris nods.]

You're getting the picture. Everything depends on everything else. That's not to say you can't make alterations - I've got a couple of projects running now that'd get me oublietted in a shot if certain people got wind of 'em. But you need to account for every little detail and cover your tracks seamlessly. Changing a living person's timeline's almost impossible to make seamless.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

This would be impossible. Everything in my life - in Chuck's life - would have to be altered.

[private]

[routemistress]

Exactly. When it comes to living - it's pretty much always best to just push on through. No matter 'ow much it breaks your 'earts. I'm sorry, love.

...I 'ope at least your stint 'ere's makin' something better for you?

Re: [private]

[deadly_ned]

It has. I'm, um.

I'm going to go home and kiss my girlfriend like I've never kissed her before.

[private]

[routemistress]

[And she laughs, joyously, because kissing is probably the best human invention Iris has ever encountered. She doesn't know the full story, but there's something in Ned's voice, his face, that hints at more than ordinary significance.

Which could, of course, only be attributable to absence, hearts and fonder. Either way, Ned's plan meets with Iris' unqualified approval.]

Can't think of anything better, Ned love. Give us a ring when you've got to the point you can stand a third person around, and I'll come visit.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

I will. I can't promise it will be a quick time after I get home, but eventually I will.

video;

[some_kinda_hero]

[In which she's conflicted between being happy he's done his job, and sad that he'll be departing.]

Ned...well, congratulations on the graduation. But I'll miss you. I was just getting to know you. What about Digby?

[with_my_teacup]

....well fuck.

[composited]

Oh, how sweet of him to love his Handler so.

[deadly_ned]

I didn't handle. He handled. I gently steered if I saw him moving towards a cliff, but the destination and the car both belonged to him.

video;

[deadly_ned]

Congratulations goes to Thomas. He...He should be well away by now. Starting a new life, doing new things. Getting free of the town. Every opportunity should be available to him.

I'll, um. I'll miss you too.

Digby? He...


I don't know about Digby. I suppose I ought to take him back with me. We've been together for...twenty years?