026 - Cranapple

[deadly_ned]

[Flushed bright from his Thanksgiving dinner at the Winchester home and the port that came before it, it's a half-smiling Piemaker that turns on his communicator one frosty December morning]

I know what I have to do.

To feel better. I know what I have to do to feel better and come back and be a good, responsible warden Alpha can rely on.

I need to go see Chuck. Recharge the batteries, get a fresh outlook and wash down the tables and restart the day again.

I think I'm going home for the day.

Comments

[routemistress]

That's why I love this boat so. It's a good place for us.

[deadly_ned]

Pairing the homeless?

[routemistress]

Don't knock it. If I could get Panda to sign up I'd be set for life 'ere.

[deadly_ned]

Who's Panda?

[routemistress]

My best friend that I've travelled with for years. I 'ad me warden item made to look like 'im.

[She holds up her stuffed toy panda to show him.]

'E's not convinced a ten inch stuffed warden'll be taken seriously enough round 'ere. I 'aven't managed to win that argument yet, I'm afraid.

[deadly_ned]

And Panda...talks to you?

[routemistress]

Swears, mostly.

...Not just to me. We're not talking imaginary friend 'ere, sunshine. Just 'cause someone's small and made of polyester doesn't make 'em not a person, you know.

[deadly_ned]

Can...other people hear Panda talk?

[routemistress]

[Such an eyeroll.]

Yes, Ned. They can. Look. Last comms glitch day but one.

[deadly_ned]

Barge shenanigans don't count.

[routemistress]

...Ned, I love you dearly and you've 'ad a bad time recently, so I won't come and clip you round the ear'ole, but you need to remember human's not everyone's default, all right?

Besides, Chuck met 'im. Ask 'er.

[deadly_ned]

Just because one type of magic exists in the world doesn't make it a universal free-for-all for every type of sentient being imaginable.

I believe that Chuck may have met a small bear. The rest is currently undecided.

[routemistress]

It's got sod-all to do with magic. This is someone that's been through horrors and the ends of worlds with me, someone that's saved me life; is it too bloody much to ask that I can talk to a friend about 'im without 'aving to prove 'e's real?

I thought better of you, Ned. I did.

...and don't call 'im bear, 'e hates that.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry.

Please don't be angry. I was. Joking. It was a bad joke.

[routemistress]

Oh love, it's all right! I know 'e's a bit unusual, even by unusual standards.

I just miss 'im a lot. It makes me a bit raw, you know?

[deadly_ned]

No. I know about missing people a lot.