026 - Cranapple

[deadly_ned]

[Flushed bright from his Thanksgiving dinner at the Winchester home and the port that came before it, it's a half-smiling Piemaker that turns on his communicator one frosty December morning]

I know what I have to do.

To feel better. I know what I have to do to feel better and come back and be a good, responsible warden Alpha can rely on.

I need to go see Chuck. Recharge the batteries, get a fresh outlook and wash down the tables and restart the day again.

I think I'm going home for the day.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

Dean.

Please let me make you a pie again.

[surfaceshine]

Fine. Twist my arm why doncha.

[deadly_ned]

Only if you think it would help.

[surfaceshine]

You're an evil, evil man, Squeaker.

Take your time. And remember what I said.

[deadly_ned]

That a turducken is a legitimate part of any holiday feast?

[surfaceshine]

Yes, absolutely.

[deadly_ned]

I'll see you tomorrow, Dean.

And I'll bring some of Chuck's honey.

[surfaceshine]

[Heroically, Dean does not take the easy joke.]

I'll be here.

[deadly_ned]

Good.


Good.


Keep an eye on Digby for me?

[surfaceshine]

...you realize I have no clue what to do with honey, right?

Yeah, sure. You know I will.

[deadly_ned]

Spread it over sliced apples.

[surfaceshine]

Have you ever seen me eat an apple?

[deadly_ned]

...Come to think of it, I don't think I have.

All right. New plan. No more pie until you eat at least one apple.

[surfaceshine]

What if I am morally opposed to apples?

[deadly_ned]

You made that up. And pretty blatantly. No one's morally opposed to apples, they keep doctors away.

[surfaceshine]

You know what else keeps doctors away?

Faking your health insurance.

[deadly_ned]

Congratulations. The Admiral's a fan of socialized medicine.

[surfaceshine]

Yeah I don't know what that means.

[deadly_ned]

Socialized medicine?

Dean, when's the last time you visited a doctor?

Of your own volition?

[surfaceshine]

[. . .]

People do that?

[deadly_ned]

....

Is it fear or laziness?

[surfaceshine]

What are you even talking about?

[deadly_ned]

Dean, people need to go to doctors. Are you afraid of them or did you just never get around to going?

[surfaceshine]

. . .

You did catch the part where I fake my health insurance, right? And my credit cards, my driver's license, my own death, two wedding invitations, and a banishing rite.

[deadly_ned]

Ever been arrested?