026 - Cranapple

[deadly_ned]

[Flushed bright from his Thanksgiving dinner at the Winchester home and the port that came before it, it's a half-smiling Piemaker that turns on his communicator one frosty December morning]

I know what I have to do.

To feel better. I know what I have to do to feel better and come back and be a good, responsible warden Alpha can rely on.

I need to go see Chuck. Recharge the batteries, get a fresh outlook and wash down the tables and restart the day again.

I think I'm going home for the day.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

A million dollars would keep the Pie Hole open for some time..

[with_my_teacup]

And double that if you ghost me. That's a lotta pie tins.

[deadly_ned]

How many years of dogfood is that? Roughly? I have a furry business partner.

[with_my_teacup]

Ooh, that's gotta be at least six, seven years of premium stuff. And a gourmet cook on retainer to make it for him.

[deadly_ned]

Digby will be in doggy heaven thanks to you and your valuable head.

[with_my_teacup]

You'll be the hero of all the Butcher Bay mercs.

[deadly_ned]

I'm not so sure how I feel about that.

[with_my_teacup]

Rugged. Rugged and badass.

[deadly_ned]

That's me to a T.

[with_my_teacup]

Right? And now rich.

[deadly_ned]

I'll try not to spend it all in one place.

[with_my_teacup]

How much does a pie plate cost, anyway?

[deadly_ned]

Considerably less than several million dollars. Unless it was a very big one.

[with_my_teacup]

You can buy a couple thousand and a building to put them in.

[deadly_ned]

That's...not a bad idea.

I think I'd rather use it to buy Chuck a greenhouse for her bees.

[with_my_teacup]

Well yeah; obviously bees get priority.

[deadly_ned]

You know them? Bees?

[with_my_teacup]

Lotta planets have hive insects like that, I'm aware of the concept. Usually named 'something-bee'. Titan-bee. Death-bee. Damn-bee. Corpse-bee. I've only met the earth variety in ports.

[deadly_ned]

Death-bees and Corpse-bees?

No. No, I mean. Just regular, living, sane bees.

[with_my_teacup]

Don't look at me, I didn't name them. They're like the Earth kind but, you know, a little more toxic. Those two, anyway. Titan bees are just real, real big. [He holds up a fist.] Ox-high planets get... weird life.

I figured she had the Earth kind.

[deadly_ned]

Don't let her hear you say those things. She'll want to create a giant bee army.

[with_my_teacup]

Three mil could engineer a bee army.

[deadly_ned]

Riddick. No. It would be terrifying.

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah, but with your girlfriend at the head of it-? It'd be fine.

[deadly_ned]

No, actually. That would make it even more terrifying, which you would know if you'd ever met Chuck.