033 - Grasshopper

[deadly_ned]

I realize this is sort of coming out of left field. It's so far left that it's left the field and into the parking lot adjacent to said field.

But.


Is there anyone here who could help me build a catapult?


It's for a friend.

Comments

[surfaceshine]

Did he specify it had to be out of like, oak beams or whatever?

[deadly_ned]

There were no specifications to be had.

[surfaceshine]

So what's the big deal? A catapult exists. Mazel tov! Give it to Zombie-o and call it a day.

[deadly_ned]

It's not a terribly impressive one. I can build better.

[surfaceshine]

We should build one that does something else.

Like a catapult can crusher or something.

[deadly_ned]

Schedule that in for phase two.

[surfaceshine]

You said a catapult.

Singular. One.

[deadly_ned]

Dean, if we start adding things onto the existing one, it'll never be finished. This isn't how you plan things out.

[surfaceshine]

Oh, no. Not never finished.

Anything but that.

[deadly_ned]

I've been promising Arthas for months that I'd build it and now we've had breaches and death tolls and finally I have a week with the weather getting warmer to plan this out and what better way to welcome the spring than a from-me-to-you gift?

[surfaceshine]

What do you have against papier mache?

[darknessb4me]

Small enough to be rolled down a hall. Big enough to throw a severed head.

[surfaceshine]

Shoo.

[darknessb4me]

It's my siege engine.

[surfaceshine]

I'm sorry, did you say something?

All I heard was "I killed your best friend and you are being really awesome for not staking my ass right now over it."

[darknessb4me]

Try to stake me.

Try.

[surfaceshine]

La la la la la.

[Click.]

[deadly_ned]

Can we say a severed head is roughly soccerball sized? For accurate measurements.

[darknessb4me]

[He has to rack his memory for a second to remember what a soccer ball is. Oh right, it's a football.]

Yes. But heavier.

[deadly_ned]

It's too bad pumpkins aren't in season this time of year. I don't really have anything on hand that would accurately represent the weight of a severed head.

[darknessb4me]

Ten pounds, give or take. It's very solid.

[deadly_ned]

Squishier if it's been left out too long.

[darknessb4me]

The longer you wait the less it will weigh, yes.

[deadly_ned]

Can I ask where all the severed heads are coming from?

[darknessb4me]

Necks.