037 - Gypsy Tart - [Video]

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker stands in his kitchen, cutting up fruit. His dog, Digby, stands behind him, catching the occasional strawberry dropped to the ground.

This is pretty normal.

What isn't normal is that the Piemaker is doing it with what is very clearly a Dean Winchester Muppet sitting on both arms. And the two are having a conversation, with the Piemaker growling out words in a fake baritone]

Look, Squeaker, all I'm saying is that cake and pie are the best goddamn things in the world and you can't go without both in this world. It's not an either or situation.


I'm not making cake pies, Dean.


You're not fun.

I know.

....That strawberry?

Yes?

[Dean the Muppet stills on the Piemaker's arms, before abruptly attacking the half-finished strawberry pie Cookie-Monster-style, complete with om nom nom nom noises. By the end of it, man, muppet, and dog are sprayed with red. It's like a Hannibal massacre only more delicious. And with felt.]

Comments

[la_belle_rogue]

Ned. Honey. Where'd ya get that?

[deadly_ned]

Get what?

[he's speaking over Muppet-Dean, who seems to be licking all of his fingers, switching back and forth between hands]

[la_belle_rogue]

[Uh-huh. So it's going to be like this. Hoboy.]

Alright Ah'll rephrase. Did ya make any wishes, darlin'?

[deadly_ned]

I wished for Dean to come back.

[The Dean muppet looks up, accentuating the Piemaker's gruff baritone with grand arm gestures]

You miss me, sugar?


...Although now I'm starting to regret this decision.

[la_belle_rogue]

[Nope. Nope. Nope. This is weird. After all the stuff she's been through both back home and on the Barge, this is what qualifies as weird. Really weird.]

Yeah... it's um, strange. Why dontcha put it down?

[deshabille]

Get rid of it.

[deadly_ned]

Oh, I know you did not just say what I think you said, dumpling.


Mal, I'm not getting rid of Dean.

[deshabille]

Get rid of it, Ned, or I will come find it. And you.

[deadly_ned]

So hostile.

I'm not getting rid of Dean, Mal.

Hey, whoa, NOBODY is getting rid of me!

[youwill]

[Well that certainly is a thing. He's almost sad it's flood-induced, this could be interesting to study.]

Your friend seems to have made a mess.

[deadly_ned]

He's still learning how to eat with only four fingers.

[The Muppet looks up and raises both middle fingers at Hannibal]

I'm right here, Chuckles. How about you talk to me instead of Squeaker here?

Dean.

[youwill]

[Hannibal doesn't have a particular reaction to the puppet: his eyebrows arch fractionally as his eyes shift to it, but they do not linger, returning to Ned instead.]

Squeaker?

[deadly_ned]

...He's just. Always called me that.

[with_my_teacup]

.......no.

No. Ned. I'm not handling whatever this is.

[deadly_ned]

I'm not asking you to handle anything.

[Puppet!Dean looks up briefly, and waves a four-fingered felt hand]

Hey, Riddick! Long time no see.

[with_my_teacup]

Ned.

This ain't okay.

[deadly_ned]

What's not okay?

You're not okay, Squeaker. You're cracking up. I'm a figment of your imagination.

Dean.

Oh, come on. It's funny!

[Video] Muppets, how can I not?

[neverfeltbetter]

[O....kay. This is disturbing on a level he didn't know existed.]

Ned. I seen a lot of screwed up things, but this one takes the cake...or...pie.

I'm almost afraid to ask...what the hell is going on over there?

[Video] frell yeah

[deadly_ned]

Nothing's going on here.

Can't two guys just make some damn pie in peace?

[video]

[neverfeltbetter]

Ned, that's not funny. Cut it out.

[video]

[deadly_ned]

I'm not doing it. He just. Showed up like this.

[darknessb4me]

[Sigh.]

What.

[deadly_ned]

What what?

Hey, Arthas. Long time no see.

[darknessb4me]

Ned, that's a puppet.

[deadly_ned]

I know it's a puppet. I'm not blind.