010 - Blackberry

[deadly_ned]

[Filtered to First Floor - Red Team, affected and unaffected alike]


Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes.


[Filtered to Thomas MacLaine]

Stay right there. I'm coming to rescue you. Don't. Panic.

We're going to go kick some ass.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

Red team. All of us, group together for a plan of action. If we go down, we go down as a team.

[payshisdebts]

I though you made pie.

[ What is this talk of teams and going down. Has the port madness begun!? ]

[deadly_ned]

I do. I make pie. I make wonderful, amazing pie.

But today that's not who I am. Today, my name is Ned, and today I'm going to paint seven-eighths of this barge red.


That was a euphemism for red paint. I'm not actually going to hurt anyone.

[payshisdebts]

...this is the flood, isn't it.

[ He is so confused right now, Ned, you don't even know. ]

[deadly_ned]

Probably.

By which I mean, definitely.

Yes. I am severely flooded right now.

This in no way should stop you from joining me in playing paintball.

[payshisdebts]

Explain this 'paintball'.

[deadly_ned]

It's like being in a war, only more bloody and terrifying.




Although I may be confusing 'war' with 'laser tag at Chuck E. Cheese'.


To be fair, the two are very similar.

[payshisdebts]

Have you even been to war, ser? I have. [ Seriously what the fucking fuck, you strange man, does he need his armor for this shit? ]

[deadly_ned]

Do pretend wars lasting one afternoon when you're nine years old and it's just you and a classmate count?

[payshisdebts]

No, ser. It does not.

[deadly_ned]

Ah.

Then no. No, I've never been to war.

But I have been to Chuck E. Cheese and I imagine it's very much the same concept.

[payshisdebts]

Let me see if I understand it. This is war you make with guns, yes? As Ser Bond does. But instead of finding bullets, which shatter bone and rend flesh, you fire... paint?

[ Just making sure he's following along here, okay. ]

[deadly_ned]

That's correct.

Except you're mixing up your pronouns. It's we. We fire paint. You and me. We are on a team and we are in this together and I need you to come fire paint with me.

[payshisdebts]

This is a foolish way to wage war. You need to command resources, hold tactical ground. And then, when in doubt, dump wildfire on them.

Or paint, I suppose.

[ now he's just yanking your chain Ned ]

[deadly_ned]

Clearly we need you as our strategist.

[payshisdebts]

Clearly. What resources do we currently hold, Piemaker?

[deadly_ned]

Riddick and I can hold the cafeteria.

Um.

I've stockpiled food and weapons.

And we have the most people on our floor, I think. One of the most.

[payshisdebts]

Then you would go to the least populated floors, flush out the weak, take their goods, and either press them into service or put them to the... gun? Is that the way you would say that?

[deadly_ned]

That isn't the way I would say that.

But I see your point.

[payshisdebts]

In a place like this, you would need a small group-- scouts over warriors. In quickly, strike quickly, take quickly.

And then you will have your victory, floor by floor.

[deadly_ned]

We. We will...have our victory.

[payshisdebts]

We shall. Now, you have an able body--bring me a rifle and find me a place to hide myself, and I will hold some strategic point in stealth.

[deadly_ned]

I can do that.

Would you rather be in my room? It's at almost the end and no one goes in. Plenty of...cover.

[payshisdebts]

That will suit me.

[deadly_ned]

Good. Very. Very good.


I'll come and get you. It's dangerous to go alone.