033 - Grasshopper

[deadly_ned]

I realize this is sort of coming out of left field. It's so far left that it's left the field and into the parking lot adjacent to said field.

But.


Is there anyone here who could help me build a catapult?


It's for a friend.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

I don't think we do, actually.


He wouldn't like knitting.

[neverfeltbetter]

It doesn't have to be knitting. Teach him how to bake pies why don't ya?

[deadly_ned]

Arthas wearing an apron.

That's an image.

[neverfeltbetter]

[Snerk]

Ah ha ha. What a picture.

[deadly_ned]

What would it say?

"Kill the chef, rob his body"?

[neverfeltbetter]

How about, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or I'll stab you."

[deadly_ned]

I like that one better. It's more accurate.

[neverfeltbetter]

[Crichton looks a little sour.]

Ain't that the truth?

[deadly_ned]

...He really wasn't himself at the time.

[neverfeltbetter]

I know that Ned. He already said he was sorry and everything. I'm not saying I'm all the way done being upset over it, but I do know about not being yourself.

I still don't trust the guy.

[deadly_ned]

Do you trust me?

[neverfeltbetter]

Yes, I trust you. But Ned, if you're about to say I should trust him too because you do, please...just don't. Trust isn't an easy thing for me to give anymore.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry. I wasn't. I was just.

Since he hurt you in the same way I hurt you, I didn't know if you had stopped trusting me.

[neverfeltbetter]

...Oh.

Ned, you were being mind controlled, and you died for me to make up for it. Of course I trust you. I trust you not to want to hurt me on purpose. That's about the best we can do on a frelled up boat like this.

[deadly_ned]

No, I absolutely wouldn't harm you on purpose. I'm not the hurting-on-purpose sort of person.


Unless it's dead things that need to be re-deaded. But I don't like to count those.

[neverfeltbetter]

[No comment on that last part...]

I know. I like that about you. Can't say the same for more than half this barge. [Himself included, if he's being honest. There are some people he'd not think twice about punching if he thought he could get away with it.]

[deadly_ned]

Most of the Barge isn't so bad. With a few very large exceptions.

Who are you having trouble with?

[neverfeltbetter]

Ned, who am I always having trouble with?

[deadly_ned]

Oh. Right. The, uh.

[The Piemaker waves a hand in front of his face. This is clearly an accurate representation of You Know Who]

Him.


And Arthas.

And please don't talk to Hannibal, but other than that, I haven't...run into any exceptionally terrible people.

[neverfeltbetter]

[It's good enough.]

Yeah, him.

I talked to Hannibal once already. But we were in public, don't worry. I'm not planning on making a habit of it.

[He's still not over that stupid picture Hannibal drew.]

[deadly_ned]

Good. Just. Good. Stay off his radar. If you can.

[There is some underlying trauma hidden in that sentence]

[neverfeltbetter]

[It's not even that hidden. But Crichton still isn't sure he wants the details.]

Might be too late. Did you happen to see his little art show?

[deadly_ned]

He asked me to help cater it.

[neverfeltbetter]

I found out the hard way, I was one of the subjects pictured.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry. I would say he didn't mean it personally but that doesn't make it any better.