033 - Grasshopper

[deadly_ned]

I realize this is sort of coming out of left field. It's so far left that it's left the field and into the parking lot adjacent to said field.

But.


Is there anyone here who could help me build a catapult?


It's for a friend.

Comments

[mightthinkthat]

You'll never eat a bad salad.

[deadly_ned]

That's...true. I never thought of it like that.

Except I can only touch something once. If I touch it again, it goes back to being dead forever.

[mightthinkthat]

I take it that's been proved an issue as well.

[deadly_ned]

More or less. Here on the Barge and back at home. To...varying degrees of awfulness.

[mightthinkthat]

I can imagine.

[deadly_ned]

...I can't remember how we got on this topic of conversation.

[mightthinkthat]

Differing interests, I believe.

[deadly_ned]

Right.

What about you? Any...special talents?

[mightthinkthat]

Nothing compared to most the people here, I'm afraid. I'm quite satisfied with that, however. Doesn't seem particularly worth it.

[deadly_ned]

It isn't. I mean. I've had this for twenty years and it's who I am now, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[mightthinkthat]

I could say the same for my difficulties. It's a badge of honour but it shouldn't go to other people. Not out of pride so much as a responsibility.

[deadly_ned]

What are your difficulties like?

[mightthinkthat]

Being a high achiever, I suppose. Dealing with people whose ambitions get in the way of mine or have none. The latter tend to be much more frustrating, mind you.

[deadly_ned]

That seems stressful.

[mightthinkthat]

It was, but it was all part of the work, so you cope.

[deadly_ned]

I don't think I'd be very good at it. I didn't so much as try to run for treasurer of my school year.

[mightthinkthat]

[Would it have stopped others.] It takes a certain kind of person.

[deadly_ned]

I'm not that certain kind of person. Not by a long shot. Not by a football field's worth of shots.

[mightthinkthat]

You're not required to be.

[deadly_ned]

Which is a very good thing, in the end.

I can't imagine you being very happy working in a bakery, either.

[mightthinkthat]

No.

[Francis doesn't actually know. He's relatively certain he wouldn't be too bad, given that there's definitely a certain amount of skill and challenge involved, and ambition-wise, he could try expanding, but why make Ned feel bad about it?]

[deadly_ned]

...If you'd ever like to try, my kitchen's always open.

[mightthinkthat]

I appreciate the offer, thank you.

[He may take him on it, depending entirely on how bored he gets.]

[deadly_ned]

I would probably suggest not arriving in a suit, though.

[mightthinkthat]

I work breakfasts, I'm quite familiar with the dress code.