004 - Mincemeat

[deadly_ned]

Hello, Barge. My name is Ned, and I have a completely arbitrary and unrelated question to ask.

If you had a minute - 60 seconds - with any person currently dead and could talk and interact with them as normal, alive people would...

What would you say or ask them?

I suppose this question goes to the people who are currently...dead....and have alive people back home they're separated from as well.

It's an odd question, I know. But I've been...curious, lately.



Also, would the elf who took my wallet please give it back now? I hope you remember me; I was the piemaker dressed as a Franciscan monk. I hate to treat the network as my own personal Lost Connections newsletter but I really didn't know what other way to get in touch with you.

And if you're not actually an elf, I'm sorry for calling you one.

Comments

[with_my_teacup]

True.

I actually know what my name was gonna be, though, when we switched places with ourselves for a flood. Alternate selves, obviously. Can't steal Megamind's.

Yeah, I guess I'm tapped out.

[AKA the real answers are extremely sad and the fuck he's admitting to them in front of strangers.

Jack I'm sorry I just wanted you to have a better life than I did.]

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry for tapping. I know I should have drawn from another well of emotions but yours seemed readily available.

What was your name?

[with_my_teacup]

Taras Krieg. Familiar name 'Mankiller.' I kinda like it.

Wait, I got mine. I would tell Johns to go fuck himself just one more time.

[deadly_ned]

Krieg, meaning the German word for 'war'?

That's an...interesting use of a minute's worth of time.

Although I bet you could squeeze in six or seven 'fucks' in under a minute.

[with_my_teacup]

...is it-? I guess, yeah.

[He puts on his primmest, butter-wouldn't-melt face.]

I didn't like him very much.

[So much of an understatement it's compressing into diamond as we speak.]

[deadly_ned]

I'd like to say I don't understand that sort of sentiment but I do. If I saw my father again I think it would be much the same thing.

Minus the 'fucks', but keeping the sentiment.

All I'm saying is that some people don't deserve forgiveness. That seems sort of an odd thing for a warden to say and while I'm not saying no one is above redemption, there are some things you just can't let go.

[with_my_teacup]

Nah, we all got that. There are people in my 'verse who about the most kind I could be to them is let someone else deal with their shit. Why there's more than one warden on this boat, probably.

[deadly_ned]

That makes sense. You can be redeemed without being forgiven, can't you?

[with_my_teacup]

I think so. Especially not being forgiven by everyone. Redemption's on you, forgiveness is on them, you only get to control one.

[deadly_ned]

That seems like it would set the stage for angry miscommunication.

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah, that sounds about like life-?

Sorry we crashed your post. I'll make you a pastry. This one will be edible.

[deadly_ned]

That's a fair point.


No meat with mine, please. I know you're a budding carnivore but I'm strictly vegetarian.

[with_my_teacup]

I am an omnivore in full bloom but yeah I know your tastes. Got a recipe for a quiche from Megamind's fish friend.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sure it will be spectacular.

Which reminds me. When we invent your signature dish you'll need to name it after yourself.

[with_my_teacup]

... do I have to have a signature dish? I feel like this wasn't introduced up front when we started lessons.

[deadly_ned]

It's a surprise bonus lesson. It comes when you invent something so tasty and wonderful that it wraps itself around you in its aroma and everyone who tastes it can't help but taste a tiny bit of home.

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah I'll leave that to you.

I don't think I'm that level.

[deadly_ned]

We'll get you to that level. And then you'll sit there eating your dish and wondering how you ever could have lived without it.

[with_my_teacup]

That sounds worryingly like addiction?

[Riddick: not often unsure of himself, but cooking kind of is his new frontier.]

[deadly_ned]

Good food usually can be. That's why some people get fat.

[with_my_teacup]

I need to not get addicted to things I can't have when I'm camping out on ice planets, though. It's kind of a necessity.

[threadjack/private/Riddick]

[routemistress]

...I named meself. While we're travellin' in a pack 'ere.

[threadjack/private/Riddick]

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah?

I don't actually mind 'Riddick'. I'm more Richard Riddick than I am Taras Krieg. [one shoulder lift.]

Would you ask for your name?

Re: [threadjack/private/Riddick]

[routemistress]

I... Not any more. I might've done once. There's a lot of freedom in being your own creation.

[threadjack/private/Riddick]

[with_my_teacup]

[Have a goggle-tap salute, Iris.]