004 - Mincemeat

[deadly_ned]

Hello, Barge. My name is Ned, and I have a completely arbitrary and unrelated question to ask.

If you had a minute - 60 seconds - with any person currently dead and could talk and interact with them as normal, alive people would...

What would you say or ask them?

I suppose this question goes to the people who are currently...dead....and have alive people back home they're separated from as well.

It's an odd question, I know. But I've been...curious, lately.



Also, would the elf who took my wallet please give it back now? I hope you remember me; I was the piemaker dressed as a Franciscan monk. I hate to treat the network as my own personal Lost Connections newsletter but I really didn't know what other way to get in touch with you.

And if you're not actually an elf, I'm sorry for calling you one.

Comments

[private]

[megamind]

'What's my name?' would be at the top of the list. It's an orphan thing, all that.

[private]

[deadly_ned]

You don't know your name?


That isn't to say I thought any mother would name their baby Megamind. I just thought it was a codename or an alias or a play-on-words.

Still, that's...sad. Very Oliver Twist-ish.

[private]

[fridgetothefire]

I'd ask her what kind of life she wants.

[Maybe that sounds backward, or futile, or cruel, but Anya has plans, and her first deal has Wanda's name on it.]

So. Totally arbitrary?

[private]

[deadly_ned]

But you can't give her back her life. You've only got just the minute. You can't change the rules, that's not part of the game.


Yes. There's no rule against arbitrary questions.

[with_my_teacup]

'You might consider getting off the planet before it gets razed.'

[Hi, Ned, your filter is full of nonhuman orphans today.]

[deadly_ned]

What is it with my filter filling up with nonhuman orphans today?

[itstopped]

That sounds about right. [Have a human orphan too, Ned.] ...I guess.

[routemistress]

I've got nothing, Ned love; I need to know anything I just go back and ask 'em meself.

Got your wallet back yet?

[deadly_ned]

Somewhere in the arbitrary rules of the universe, some might classify that as cheating. Or at least upending the board and making up your own rules as you go.

I remain as of yet walletless.

[fuckingvisions]

Thats an easy one Ned. I'd apologize for all the pain and suffering she had to deal with because of me.

[deadly_ned]

Apologies can heal a lot of hurt.

Would she forgive you? Would it matter if she didn't?

[voice, avec sound filter]

[dalekemperor]

Why is that something you would even wish to know?

[voice, avec sound filter]

[deadly_ned]

Lots of people have answers. That makes it a worthwhile question.

[secretasshole]

[David's not entirely certain he counts, but.]

What makes you ask?

[deadly_ned]

That's not an answer. That's a question answering another question.

Private

[hatestriangles]

Personal question, isn't it?

Private

[deadly_ned]

It is.

But it isn't a mandatory personal question. No one should feel obligated to answer.

[meanstwin]

I would tell her to ask for the same deal I got.

[deadly_ned]

You mean the Barge?

[forsaken_queen]

[Surprise, Piemaker. She looks a lot different than she did at port. A lot more 'haunted house'. And she sounds like it too.]

I have no need of your property.

[deadly_ned]

I don't think we've met.

[darknessb4me]

[Just a laugh.]

[deadly_ned]

That's...less than encouraging.

[moreincommon]

Um, I'd probably say something like "Hi, how are you doing?"

Any luck getting the wallet back?

[deadly_ned]

Most people who are dead find that question in poor taste.

Sort of. I found the person who has it. Who seems more...dead since I last talked to her.

Private

[burnmythoughts]

[A soft, sad smile.]

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

Private

[deadly_ned]

You can't save everyone.

And people. They're more..understanding, after death. Usually.

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

...I'd tell him I've been okay, and that I forgive him. [HAVE ANOTHER ORPHAN, NED.]

Do you remember what this elf looked like?

Private

[deadly_ned]

[TOO MANY ORPHANS]

That's nice. That one I like.

I do. And did. She looks different now. Less alive than before. Which I mean, sometimes happens but now I feel almost...bad, asking for it back.

[hetrustsme]

My parents. And I would ask them... for advice.

[deadly_ned]

Advice on anything in particular, or general advice that every boy without parents needs to know?

[mattersverymuch]

I would prefer to hear your answer.

[deadly_ned]

My answers mainly involve me apologizing for things I did when I was nine and didn't understand the rules.

[hetrustsme]

In particular about how to help my inmate. In general about how to stay in here. I just miss them, I suppose so any excuse would be good enough.

[deadly_ned]

You're having trouble with your inmate?

[hetrustsme]

No, I have been lucky. She's pretty sweet and easy to get along with. But I want to help her the best I can.

[deadly_ned]

That sounds a very personal connection with someone lost.

[hetrustsme]

I would have probably used my powers in the worst possible ways.

[deadly_ned]

To be fair, some powers seem like much more of a curse than a gift.