004 - Mincemeat

[deadly_ned]

Hello, Barge. My name is Ned, and I have a completely arbitrary and unrelated question to ask.

If you had a minute - 60 seconds - with any person currently dead and could talk and interact with them as normal, alive people would...

What would you say or ask them?

I suppose this question goes to the people who are currently...dead....and have alive people back home they're separated from as well.

It's an odd question, I know. But I've been...curious, lately.



Also, would the elf who took my wallet please give it back now? I hope you remember me; I was the piemaker dressed as a Franciscan monk. I hate to treat the network as my own personal Lost Connections newsletter but I really didn't know what other way to get in touch with you.

And if you're not actually an elf, I'm sorry for calling you one.

Comments

[megamind]

Create paradox by going to say hi to myself and collapse both universes, maybe.

[deadly_ned]

What sound would a collapsing universe make?

I think it might be something along the lines of an elephant being flattened.

[megamind]

Not sure. No intention of finding out.

[deadly_ned]

So the planet still has to go.

[megamind]

Yeah. To create the person who will save it, it has to end.

But -- somewhere, they'll -- be out there, still spinning. And I'll feel marginally better about being alone.

[deadly_ned]

They will?

[megamind]

Well, if the Admiral keeps his promises they will. I'm still ironing the kinks of the whole thing out. If it ends we can't save the sun and planets for Reasons, I'll be looking at non-relative escapees and colonists, so that, you know... some of the species and culture is preserved.

[deadly_ned]

But not your relatives.

[megamind]

[ His smile is small, and a touch sad. ]

Can't win 'em all.

[deadly_ned]

It's a pretty significant loss.

I'm sorry. I'm not making it any easier.

[megamind]

Like I said: You get used to it.

[ Shed big tears over his planet and what he can or can't save? Ain't got no time for that shit. ]

[deadly_ned]

I don't think I could.

[megamind]

Actually, humans are quite adaptable. You'd be surprised what they can get used to.

[deadly_ned]

The extinction of the rest of our race?

[megamind]

Well, if you want to be blunt... yeah. Eventually.

[deadly_ned]

How can anyone get over that?

[megamind]

What choice do you have? [ Seriously, this is-- starting to make him uncomfortable, and unlike with Barbara and Gaeta, or other things he cannot fix or change, he can at least talk about this with the safety of flair, his persona in place. ] People die. Things go wrong. People are hurt. This is just life. And while I may have won my life back and decided to fight for theirs, I will be the first to tell you: life isn't fair. Nobody watches their planet die in a universe that runs on justice.

The things that make it better-- justice, compassion, mercy, affection, love-- those are all created things. Ideas that probably every race comes up to justify and combat the things they cannot change or affect. If you really want to be blunt, they are lies we hold at night to keep us and those that we have brought into our circles safe.

The thing that makes them true, the things that make them real is found in people who work for them-- actions, measurable and quantifiable. It's not isn't compassion air particle data or justice waves bouncing off the atmosphere! It's -- action, from one person to another, just as it is often inaction or lack of those qualities that leads to evil.

[ He pauses, briefly, and then coughs. ]

...man you got me dramatically speeching it up here. Sorry. Touchy subject.

[deadly_ned]

No. It's. It's fine. No, I like those safe, little lies that we hold at night. Sometimes it's all we have to hold onto.

And no. The universe is not fair. I'm only saying that if the universe were so unfair as to kill all other remaining life, I don't think I could mentally manage.

[megamind]

Well, if you were lucky, your parents would love you very much and make sure you found your way to a habitable if not perfect planet where you could pursue your destiny as you see fit!

[deadly_ned]

My dad abandoned me at a boarding school when I was nine and never came back. Our planet didn't blow up. He was just a terrible human being.


I'm glad your father was different. Someone's fathers should at least be decent.

[megamind]

I was raised in a prison. I pretty much know nothing but terrible human beings at home... and a handful of surprisingly nice ones.

[deadly_ned]

I'm guessing that's not a metaphor for an emotional prison.

[megamind]

Mmmmmnope.

[deadly_ned]

Prison is terrible, both as an emotional and a physical lock-down. But I think that's part of the point.

[megamind]

Yes, quite. Anyway.

Now that I've been a huge downer and made a speech, I should, uh. Go continue to try and reorganize the lair.