004 - Mincemeat

[deadly_ned]

Hello, Barge. My name is Ned, and I have a completely arbitrary and unrelated question to ask.

If you had a minute - 60 seconds - with any person currently dead and could talk and interact with them as normal, alive people would...

What would you say or ask them?

I suppose this question goes to the people who are currently...dead....and have alive people back home they're separated from as well.

It's an odd question, I know. But I've been...curious, lately.



Also, would the elf who took my wallet please give it back now? I hope you remember me; I was the piemaker dressed as a Franciscan monk. I hate to treat the network as my own personal Lost Connections newsletter but I really didn't know what other way to get in touch with you.

And if you're not actually an elf, I'm sorry for calling you one.

Comments

[with_my_teacup]

'You might consider getting off the planet before it gets razed.'

[Hi, Ned, your filter is full of nonhuman orphans today.]

[deadly_ned]

What is it with my filter filling up with nonhuman orphans today?

[with_my_teacup]

We travel in packs.

[The straightest face.]

[deadly_ned]

I guess wherever you can find a sense of home and belonging is better than nothing.

Although if the person you were speaking to is already dead, that sentence of yours is sort of...moot.

[with_my_teacup]

True.

I actually know what my name was gonna be, though, when we switched places with ourselves for a flood. Alternate selves, obviously. Can't steal Megamind's.

Yeah, I guess I'm tapped out.

[AKA the real answers are extremely sad and the fuck he's admitting to them in front of strangers.

Jack I'm sorry I just wanted you to have a better life than I did.]

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry for tapping. I know I should have drawn from another well of emotions but yours seemed readily available.

What was your name?

[with_my_teacup]

Taras Krieg. Familiar name 'Mankiller.' I kinda like it.

Wait, I got mine. I would tell Johns to go fuck himself just one more time.

[deadly_ned]

Krieg, meaning the German word for 'war'?

That's an...interesting use of a minute's worth of time.

Although I bet you could squeeze in six or seven 'fucks' in under a minute.

[threadjack/private/Riddick]

[routemistress]

...I named meself. While we're travellin' in a pack 'ere.

[threadjack/private/Riddick]

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah?

I don't actually mind 'Riddick'. I'm more Richard Riddick than I am Taras Krieg. [one shoulder lift.]

Would you ask for your name?

Re: [threadjack/private/Riddick]

[routemistress]

I... Not any more. I might've done once. There's a lot of freedom in being your own creation.

[megamind]

Mostly because we're the only people we can trust.

[ Hey Riddick. ]

Though we often screw that up.

[ ...he's owning his, okay. ]

[with_my_teacup]

[Hey bro.]

Also gives us strength in numbers to ambush people.

[megamind]

I'm really not up for ambushing today. Can we ambush someone tomorrow?

OH!

Actually... I might have a favor to ask regarding working off some steam, and testing out some equipment. Probably CES. Thoughts?

[with_my_teacup]

Intrigued. May have to hold off a few days until I check on some obligations.

[itstopped]

That sounds about right. [Have a human orphan too, Ned.] ...I guess.

[deadly_ned]

This wasn't supposed to be a "how many people lost their planets" post.

Suddenly everything is at genocide levels of terrible.

[megamind]

You get used to it.

Or you get a deal and set it right. Either or.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sort of ashamed about my small deal. I don't have a planet to save.


Although I admire the people who do. That's a big wish.

[megamind]

Well, as I've done the math-- it will remain destroyed in my own world, and-- I'll never see them, or know them and so essentially I'm going into exile in another universe, but...

You know, thought that counts.

[deadly_ned]

And there's nothing that you can do?

[itstopped]

Yes, that's typically what happens with genocide.

[deadly_ned]

Well, it's terrible.

[itstopped]

I take it you didn't know what you were getting into. [There's a pause as he registers Megamind's threadjack, his expression growing distinctly colder; he mutes it silently, but when he turns his attention back to Ned, he says:] I take that back, actually.

[deadly_ned]

I did. I sort of did. This is my first inter-dimensional experience but since I've never been much at home in my own universe it wasn't much of a change from not being much at home in someone else's.

You take...what back?