009 - Key Lime

[deadly_ned]

I am only just now realizing that a dark and terrible storm is lurking over the horizon and that I may or may not have the resources necessary to prepare myself to face it.


And since I have one, and only one skill to offer in exchange..


Pies for any sort of sword-fighting or survivalist training for me and my inmate.


Please.


We're not fighters. At least, I'm not a fighter...much. I don't like to put words in the mouths of other people. I like to put pie there instead.

Or...room-cleaning, or I know Morse Code but I'm not sure how handy that will come in, but it's sort of a nifty little party trick when you're bored and have nothing better to do, but that might take a substantially larger amount of time than a simple comfort food hand-off.

[Locked to Thomas]

Digby has been re-homed. My room is officially dog-free. So you can...come, and go as you please.

If it pleases.

Also I may or may not have volunteered us both to go to a card game. Do you play cards? I can do a, um. A crash course.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

I...don't really like to...use guns.

I'll ask my inmate. Maybe he likes guns better than I do.

And I'm not going into this completely a beginner. I have had some...sword training.

[deadliestviper]

Really? [Not to the dislike of guns, to the use of swords. He is not the type she'd peg as a fellow swordsman.]

What have you done before?

[deadly_ned]

Boarding school fencing lessons.

And...hours and hours of pretending to be a Jedi, which sounds unimpressive until you take into consideration that all that flailing around with a cardboard tube ended up giving me the skills to save my own life.

Once or twice.

[deadliestviper]

How long did you study?

I played Jedi when I was a kid! [Then she got a little older and started playing Klingon.] Can't say I ever used my Jedi flailing skills for that purpose, but I don't doubt you.

[deadly_ned]

Ages nine to fifteen. On and off. I wasn't very athletic.


You did? Really?

It's surprising, the number of life lessons Jedis can impart.

[deadliestviper]

How rusty are you with your rapier skills? The gym has a supply of practice weapons.

They're a wise order indeed.

[deadly_ned]

I had to duel a Civil War Reenactment veteran who was trying to kill me. Once. I survived. That was last spring.

I won, um. Actually. But it might have been a fluke; he was nervous because we were dueling in a morgue at the time.

[deadliestviper]

Interesting. Sounds like quite the story.

Seems a bit preemptive... Did you kill him, or just beat him?

[deadly_ned]

Beat him. And then he was arrested for stuffing a dead man into my freezer.

I try not to kill too many people in one day.

[The Piemaker is, in fact, serious]

[deadliestviper]

Okay, I'm not even going to ask. [She assumes he's joking about an extremely messed up sex life and shrugs it off -- not that an assassin is going to judge anyone poorly based on a body count.]

European techniques aren't my strong spot but I'll practice with you if you'd like.

[deadly_ned]

It's a long and...complicated story. Better to just let it go.

What is your strong spot?

wtf how did that happen

[deadliestviper]

Kenjutsu, but I can do decently with a rapier if you prefer.

I don't even know, man

[deadly_ned]

That would be more than decent, yes. Thank you.

[deadliestviper]

What time would be good for you?

I'm Beatrix, by the way.

[deadly_ned]

Hello, Beatrix. My name is Ned.

I bake my pies in the mornings so...early to mid afternoon? Ish?

[deadliestviper]

Nice to meet you, Ned.

I usually work a gym shift in the morning but I can meet you there when you'd like. My afternoons are pretty open.

[deadly_ned]

It's nice to meet you too.

Good. Good. Mine are, they're open too.

[deadliestviper]

Just drop me a line when you're ready.

[deadly_ned]

I will. Thank you.

Thank you, Beatrix.

[deadliestviper]

It's not a problem.