009 - Key Lime

[deadly_ned]

I am only just now realizing that a dark and terrible storm is lurking over the horizon and that I may or may not have the resources necessary to prepare myself to face it.


And since I have one, and only one skill to offer in exchange..


Pies for any sort of sword-fighting or survivalist training for me and my inmate.


Please.


We're not fighters. At least, I'm not a fighter...much. I don't like to put words in the mouths of other people. I like to put pie there instead.

Or...room-cleaning, or I know Morse Code but I'm not sure how handy that will come in, but it's sort of a nifty little party trick when you're bored and have nothing better to do, but that might take a substantially larger amount of time than a simple comfort food hand-off.

[Locked to Thomas]

Digby has been re-homed. My room is officially dog-free. So you can...come, and go as you please.

If it pleases.

Also I may or may not have volunteered us both to go to a card game. Do you play cards? I can do a, um. A crash course.

Comments

[winterinlordaeron]

I don't eat, but I can help train you with swords, if you need.

[deadly_ned]

If you don't eat pies, I will reluctantly submit to making cake.

Or the horrifying combination of the cake-in-a-pie that two people have now made mention to me.

[winterinlordaeron]

Oh...no, that won't be necessary. I don't eat.

But thank you, all the same.

[deadly_ned]

...You don't eat.


You don't eat?


Why don't you eat?

private

[mattersverymuch]

I don't want pie. [This is so hilarious to him.]

I may be able to be useful to you, nevertheless. For a favor.

private

[deadly_ned]

[This is the most hurt, most offended look on the planet and it is being directed at you, sir]


Everyone likes pie. Why don't you want pie? What's wrong with it?

Is it me? You don't like pie because I'm the one making it?

private

[mattersverymuch]

[Wow, Ned. Wow.]

I'm sure it's delicious. What's wrong with it is that it's a paltry exchange for help of this magnitude, don't you think?

[deadliestviper]

I approve of your plan to learn, but you're not going to both become proficient with a sword by the end of the month. You'll pick up some useful moves, but if you really want to defend yourselves I'd recommend getting a gun and practicing your marksmanship.

[deadly_ned]

I...don't really like to...use guns.

I'll ask my inmate. Maybe he likes guns better than I do.

And I'm not going into this completely a beginner. I have had some...sword training.

[deadliestviper]

Really? [Not to the dislike of guns, to the use of swords. He is not the type she'd peg as a fellow swordsman.]

What have you done before?

[most_feared]

If you want some quick defense training I can give you a hand. Looks like you got a list lined up there, Chief.

[deadly_ned]

I do. I didn't expect it but I really do.

People here are...helpful. That much I've learned.

[most_feared]

Being bored as shit brings out the generosity in people. Not a complaint, though. We can use it.

[routemistress]

If you're not a fighter, Ned lovey, 'ow about you ask Narvin or the admiral to get you a staser? Or summat along those lines. You'd be better with that than a sword. And they can be done with stun settings, mine is.

...did you say room cleaning? I'll do anything you like for that.

[deadly_ned]

I don't think Narvin and I have met yet. Is he the sort of person to willingly hand out weapons to complete strangers?

You need me to clean your room for you?

[routemistress]

'Course 'e will, we're all concerned about what's upcoming, lovey. We're all 'ere to look after each other.

Aye, I could do with it. 'Ow are you at bloodstains in the carpet?

private

[meanstwin]

You didn't have to do that.

private

[deadly_ned]

I wanted to. I want you to have a safe place you can go to if you need help, and you can't feel safe if Digby is there.

private

[meanstwin]

You still didn't need to.

But... there wasn't much to do when it rained, back home. And it rained a lot. [It's an answer to that second question above.] You've got friends here?

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her smile is strained but warm.]

I'm not going to tell you you'll be okay, Ned, because I can't know that. But you won't be alone out there.

It looks like you've got a lot of stuff covered. What are your thoughts on throwing weapons?

[deadly_ned]

That's what I'm worried about.


I throw something and it becomes a weapon?

[bodilesswarrior]

[...Okay, that gets an amused smile.] I was thinking about, say, shuriken, but really, if you throw anything hard enough...

[ichoosefight]

I can show you some basic staff fighting and escrima moves. I'm not so good with a sword, but just about anything can be a makeshift staff if you're really desperate.

[deadly_ned]

Escrima sounds like a type of pasta.

[ichoosefight]

[ She chuckles good-naturedly. ]

It does, doesn't it? It's basically stick fighting, the escrima sticks are about a third the size of a full staff.