009 - Key Lime

[deadly_ned]

I am only just now realizing that a dark and terrible storm is lurking over the horizon and that I may or may not have the resources necessary to prepare myself to face it.


And since I have one, and only one skill to offer in exchange..


Pies for any sort of sword-fighting or survivalist training for me and my inmate.


Please.


We're not fighters. At least, I'm not a fighter...much. I don't like to put words in the mouths of other people. I like to put pie there instead.

Or...room-cleaning, or I know Morse Code but I'm not sure how handy that will come in, but it's sort of a nifty little party trick when you're bored and have nothing better to do, but that might take a substantially larger amount of time than a simple comfort food hand-off.

[Locked to Thomas]

Digby has been re-homed. My room is officially dog-free. So you can...come, and go as you please.

If it pleases.

Also I may or may not have volunteered us both to go to a card game. Do you play cards? I can do a, um. A crash course.

Comments

private

[mattersverymuch]

It's not true at all. But carry on if you must.

private

[deadly_ned]

I will.

Thank you for agreeing to teach me and Thomas.

private

[mattersverymuch]

I don't need thanks.

private

[deadly_ned]

No. You need pie and a favor and probably love and happiness and home and respect and power but I can only give two of those things and I'm sorry for that.

private

[mattersverymuch]

I certainly don't need pity.

private

[deadly_ned]

Pity was not on my list of things you needed.

private

[mattersverymuch]

It sounded quite a bit like pity, in sum.

Please be aware I still have time to back out of this.

private

[deadly_ned]

It isn't pity. How is telling you the same thing you told me a week ago pity?

private

[mattersverymuch]

Perhaps it's because you're saying it, and you're pitiful.

private

[deadly_ned]

I am not.

private

[mattersverymuch]

Hopefully slightly less so, when I'm done with you.

private

[deadly_ned]

You haven't seen me fight. You don't know how pitiful I may or may not be.

private

[mattersverymuch]

How many people have you killed?

private

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker goes silent.

But it's not because he has nothing to say.

It's because he's counting.]

private

[mattersverymuch]

[And this is an expression of extreme interest.]

[He waits.]

private

[deadly_ned]

...


Three hundred and twenty-seven.

I think.

I may be off count by five on either direction, I can't be completely sure.

private

[mattersverymuch]

I see.

[Which is as close to 'I was wrong' as is going to happen.]

Someday I'm going to need to know why.

private

[deadly_ned]

You don't need to know. This isn't a need to know thing.


All you need to know right now is that none of them died by a sword and I don't know any survivalist training.

And that I'm not a serial killer or a warrior.

private

[mattersverymuch]

What I need to know is decided by one person alone. It's not you.

I don't care if you're a serial killer or a warrior. I'll show you what I know regardless.

private

[deadly_ned]

That's all I ask.

private

[mattersverymuch]

Three days.

private

[deadly_ned]

Three days. I get it.