009 - Key Lime

[deadly_ned]

I am only just now realizing that a dark and terrible storm is lurking over the horizon and that I may or may not have the resources necessary to prepare myself to face it.


And since I have one, and only one skill to offer in exchange..


Pies for any sort of sword-fighting or survivalist training for me and my inmate.


Please.


We're not fighters. At least, I'm not a fighter...much. I don't like to put words in the mouths of other people. I like to put pie there instead.

Or...room-cleaning, or I know Morse Code but I'm not sure how handy that will come in, but it's sort of a nifty little party trick when you're bored and have nothing better to do, but that might take a substantially larger amount of time than a simple comfort food hand-off.

[Locked to Thomas]

Digby has been re-homed. My room is officially dog-free. So you can...come, and go as you please.

If it pleases.

Also I may or may not have volunteered us both to go to a card game. Do you play cards? I can do a, um. A crash course.

Comments

[routemistress]

If you're not a fighter, Ned lovey, 'ow about you ask Narvin or the admiral to get you a staser? Or summat along those lines. You'd be better with that than a sword. And they can be done with stun settings, mine is.

...did you say room cleaning? I'll do anything you like for that.

[deadly_ned]

I don't think Narvin and I have met yet. Is he the sort of person to willingly hand out weapons to complete strangers?

You need me to clean your room for you?

[routemistress]

'Course 'e will, we're all concerned about what's upcoming, lovey. We're all 'ere to look after each other.

Aye, I could do with it. 'Ow are you at bloodstains in the carpet?

[deadly_ned]

We are? Really?


I...suppose it's not much different than getting out berry stains from a carpet. But I won't help cover up a murder.

[routemistress]

No bugger else is going to do it, are they?

Oh no, nothing like that, lovey; I just seem to keep gettin' killed in me room, and the last thing you feel like deathtolling's scrubbing carpets, isn't it?

[deadly_ned]

I suppose they aren't.

Oh.

Oh.



Yes.


Yes, I can help with that.

[routemistress]

[She grins.]

Occupational 'azard. Least, it is with me. Sometimes I think livin' 'ere's made me a bit careless.

[deadly_ned]

Please don't be careless. People die surprisingly easily from a number of horrible things and when you go back to your world you won't always come back.



Never come back. People don't come back from the dead.

[routemistress]

Most of 'em don't, no. I can, as it 'appens, but it's a bit more involved than it is 'ere and not quite as reliable. Point taken, though, Ned love. Point taken.

[deadly_ned]

I'll come get the bloodstains out of your carpet.

[routemistress]

Thanks ever so, sweetheart. Tea, coffee or gin?

[deadly_ned]

Coffee. Please.