009 - Key Lime

[deadly_ned]

I am only just now realizing that a dark and terrible storm is lurking over the horizon and that I may or may not have the resources necessary to prepare myself to face it.


And since I have one, and only one skill to offer in exchange..


Pies for any sort of sword-fighting or survivalist training for me and my inmate.


Please.


We're not fighters. At least, I'm not a fighter...much. I don't like to put words in the mouths of other people. I like to put pie there instead.

Or...room-cleaning, or I know Morse Code but I'm not sure how handy that will come in, but it's sort of a nifty little party trick when you're bored and have nothing better to do, but that might take a substantially larger amount of time than a simple comfort food hand-off.

[Locked to Thomas]

Digby has been re-homed. My room is officially dog-free. So you can...come, and go as you please.

If it pleases.

Also I may or may not have volunteered us both to go to a card game. Do you play cards? I can do a, um. A crash course.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

If you don't eat pies, I will reluctantly submit to making cake.

Or the horrifying combination of the cake-in-a-pie that two people have now made mention to me.

[winterinlordaeron]

Oh...no, that won't be necessary. I don't eat.

But thank you, all the same.

[deadly_ned]

...You don't eat.


You don't eat?


Why don't you eat?

[winterinlordaeron]

....I don't need to.

[deadly_ned]

Don't you want to?

Why don't you need to?

Don't you need to or don't you want to, because those are two very different feelings.

[winterinlordaeron]

I no longer need to. I could barely taste it, even if I did.

I'm...no longer alive.

[deadly_ned]

That's not how that works. You're either alive or you're dead and you're here talking to me so you're alive.

That is how it works. And when you're alive after being dead the food tastes so much better and you are not dead.


You can't be dead. No one would curse someone to a life where they can walk and talk but yet have no taste.

[winterinlordaeron]

[Listen here u little shit.]

Maybe in your world, but not mine. I am undead. Taste isn't something we really needed.

Would you like to check my pulse?

[deadly_ned]

[Suddenly, and alarmingly forcefully] No.




....No.


No, I don't...want to touch...you.


I'm sorry.

[winterinlordaeron]

[Sigh. He understands that people don't like to touch dead things, just maybe why you might not want to, Ned. He thinks it's just because he's dead.]

I understand. Sorry.

Still, I can teach you how to use a sword. I have armor...you can't hurt me.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker could, in fact, hurt him. But instead, he said;]

Thank you. I don't actually...own any armor but I'm sort of...fast and I have a good arm and I'm relatively in good shape.

[winterinlordaeron]

I'll go easy on you.

I'm sure we can kind a practice blade. What kind of swords do you favor?

[deadly_ned]

Thank you.

The, um.


The sharp, pointy kind?

[winterinlordaeron]

Two-handed, one-handed?

[deadly_ned]

I hold it with two hands if it's heavy, but..

One-handed. I think.

My first threadjack! Woot!

[forsaken_queen]

You are wasting your time, Warden mine.

aww yeah

[winterinlordaeron]

Why's that?

[forsaken_queen]

The buffoon refuses to accept truths, even when the evidence is right before him.

[Oh she does not like the Pie Maker very much at all.]

[deadly_ned]

My name is Ned.


And I still haven't picked up my wallet yet.

[forsaken_queen]

You likely won't at this point. I do not hold onto trash.

[deadly_ned]

It's probably a good idea you don't.

I think people who hang onto trash are referred to by other people as hoarders.

I'm so sorry Ned!

[forsaken_queen]

You cannot possibly be this stupid. You are either being deliberately obtuse or you have a severe death wish.

[winterinlordaeron]

You can't force someone to accept things, sometimes. You have to let them figure it our for themselves.

[forsaken_queen]

I'm certain he can be helped along to enlightenment.

[winterinlordaeron]

No, Sylvanas. Leave him be, he'll figure it out soon enough.