003 - Chocolate [Video]

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker is in the Barge kitchen, finishing up the last works of the day. On the countertop are two small pies for two graduated inmates, to be picked up or delivered when most convenient.

They're addressed to Megamind and Riddick, with Congratulations written on top. While the Piemaker was never a man to celebrate change, he could appreciate and reward it in others.

There's a third confection that's bothering him. It's the cake-pie. The cake-within-a-pie. The abomination and unholy mash-up of good and evil.

The Piemaker prods it with a spoon]

I'm not sure how safe this is to eat. I know I made it but it's. It looks..untrustworthy.

Never again, Cassandra.

Comments

[megamind]

[ He gestures to himself. ]

Yes, I'm aware. It's -- still applicable, I suppose.

[deadly_ned]

A supervillain Warden?

[megamind]

We had a man who had killed millions of people in the name of peace singlehandedly. Supervillainy is-- well, it's not so bad, in retrospect, is it?

[ He rocks on his heels, as the conversation turns awkward ] Besides, now I can use my evil things.... for good purposes. Intent is important!

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker thought of the girl named Chuck, whom he loved and had risen from the dead at a cost of another man's life. Murder, for the sake of love. In response to the supervillain called Megamind, he only answered,]


Intent is important.

[megamind]

Yes. So it is. Like -- why do you give a stranger pie? Graduation is worth celebrating, but-- right now, nobody really... has the energy.

[ Even he's not so manic as he has been in the past; his hands are mostly still-- when they gesture, it's expansive but not fast. ]

But as middle of the road things-- good on you but let's not raise the roof-- it's pretty good.

[deadly_ned]

Pie isn't so much a celebratory food. Cake is celebratory.

Pie is home. People want to feel like they're a step closer to home once they graduate.

[megamind]

Home's on fire. Not lookin' forward to that mess, lemme tell ya.

[ He tilts his head, apparently contemplating the pie. His eyes half-lid, as he lets himself find a memory. Or maybe a few of them. ]

I am, by the way, all of thirty-five years old, and I have had pie a total of twenty-three times in my life. It was a thing -- we couldn't do. Minion eventually discovered canning, but seasonal and fresh fruit? Harder to come by-- especially between lock up. It was a special treat that we could arrange a time when I was out of prison, between schemes, and he had time to bake and see me eat it.






... I really hope he's there, when I go back.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker went silent, rather than incriminate himself on his own way of gathering fresh fruit.]

Well.

Now it's twenty-four.


And...

You won't know until you go back.

I wish I could offer something more helpful than that but the truth is I don't know and I'd rather offer you the truth than lie.

[megamind]

Yeah. I know.

So, what kind of pie?

[ He might be idly finger-walking his hands over the counter toward said pie. Like a thief, even. Never mind that it's his-- you can take the villain out of the prison, but you can't take the prisoner out of the villain, okay. ]

Or is magical barge pie?

[deadly_ned]

Chocolate. I took a gamble and figured chocolate.

[The Piemaker knows that look. Figuring to at least casually play with the supervillain, he takes the pie - meant for Megamind, mind - and moves it gently to the other side of the counter, out of reach. The supervillain was like a cat; show them something they couldn't have and they went out of their minds to get it]

I don't know what magical barge pie would taste like.

[megamind]

[ It's like the red laser dot for the cat. He's taunted, and he's moving to the side a little. The brainbots watch in somehing like mechanical amusement. ]

Probably like a magical barge, which is not a taste I am entirely interested in. Chocolate, though, you can't really go wrong.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker, suppressing a smile, leaves the pie where it is. If the supergenius called Megamind gets too close, he'll move it again]

No. Everyone at least...tolerates it.

Congratulations, warden.

[megamind]

[ Megamind an a brainbot exchange glances, and there's a little head nudge-- before one floats to one side... and the other floats to the other side... Yeah, he's not above a flanking maneuver. ]

Thanks.

[ Though he's not sure how to feel about it some days, he knows for certain: he's glad the whole lack-of-freedom bits of being an inmate are over. ]

Now, don't make me revert and hold you hostage for the pie, Piemaker.

[deadly_ned]

[Suppressing a smirk, the Piemaker circles his arm around the pie, curious about who's the better pastry strategist]

You'd be surprised what I've been able to struggle out of.

[megamind]

[ There is a big red eye right here, man. It's eyeing so hard. ]

Ah, ah, it's not nice to offer something and then take it away. I suppose I'll have to take drastic measures then...

[ Time to get the DE-Gun out, and pick a setting, hmmm.... ]

[deadly_ned]

[That eye is creepy. The Piemaker reaches into his apron and drapes a napkin over it]

Who's taking it away?

[Casual slide of the pie so that his body is blocking it from immediate access]

[megamind]

[ Brainbot goes BLIND. It abruptly veers off, limbs flailing at it's face. and smacks into a wall. Megamind winces. ]

Gonna have to work on that 'how to remove a napkin' logic process.

[ Ahem. ]

My pie. You're hiding my pie, Piemaker, and that's not okay. I could take Riddick's hostage, but he's a pal, so...

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker winces as well. He hadn't meant to hurt the poor brainbot]

I. That was. I'm sorry. I didn't expect it to panic.

Ah. Yes. I. I am, aren't I?

[Using two fingers, the Piemaker steers the pie back to Megamind]

You make a compelling argument.

[megamind]

[ Megamind gathers up the brainbot, with all the affection one shows a puppy, and passes the napkin back to the Piemaker. ]

There you are. Nothing harmed. You can wear a hat but you can't handle a napkin? Seriously.

[ He then gets his fingers on the lip of the pie, and contemplates. ]

Why baking?

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker smiled at the supergenius' inclination towards his pets, and thought wistfully of his own dog, Digby, who he could not touch]

Why science?

[megamind]

I'm really good at it. [ He says. ] ...and honestly they wouldn't let me do much else. Nobody takes a poet-villain seriously, or and I was never big enough to be a beating bruiser-villain.

[ Though he may, in fact, have some notebooks filled with poetry that he is totally ashamed of somewhere. ]

[deadly_ned]

Then I'm...really good at baking.


Poet?

[megamind]

Poet. Music-- well, I managed to work music into things, but I never get to play or write any, and honestly who has spare time? [ Megamind doesn't. ]

[deadly_ned]

You're a musician?

[megamind]

Well, a bit. I play a few things. [ And there's a breach persona who has every classical work ever played on a piano ever memorized but the less said about Subject Gamma the better. ]