003 - Chocolate [Video]

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker is in the Barge kitchen, finishing up the last works of the day. On the countertop are two small pies for two graduated inmates, to be picked up or delivered when most convenient.

They're addressed to Megamind and Riddick, with Congratulations written on top. While the Piemaker was never a man to celebrate change, he could appreciate and reward it in others.

There's a third confection that's bothering him. It's the cake-pie. The cake-within-a-pie. The abomination and unholy mash-up of good and evil.

The Piemaker prods it with a spoon]

I'm not sure how safe this is to eat. I know I made it but it's. It looks..untrustworthy.

Never again, Cassandra.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

It is.

I know we've not really. We don't know each other well. That's probably my fault, I'm sorry.

I just. Thought that a graduation deserved pie.

[megamind]

[ Considering he's been kicked pretty hard lately by life, despite graduation... Well. He smiles and says, a little softly; ] ...thanks.

I'll come by in a little bit for, uh. Pie.

[deadly_ned]

Whenever you want.

[megamind]

Yeah, I gotta do a few things up that way anyway... [ And then he nods once, and gets up, leaving the comm running... without him. Oh well. It's just a black room. ]

[ And eventually, there's Megamind -- costumed, with a clipboard in hand, and a few little... robots floating behind him, eyeing things and taking in instruction as he walks. ]

Ah! Hello! Ned, is it? Yes. Ned. Ned in the kitchen. Piemaker.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker opens his mouth, somewhat in shock at all the bitty robots floating around. That...takes some getting used to]

Um. Yes. It. Um. Was.

Ned. In the kitchen. With the pie.

[megamind]

Note made. [ He hands that back to a brainbot, who scans it, and passes it to another bot. ] I am Megamind. We haven't really-- met.

[ And he's feeling weird in his warden pants, as it were.]

[deadly_ned]

We did once. Briefly. You called yourself a supervillain.

[megamind]

[ He gestures to himself. ]

Yes, I'm aware. It's -- still applicable, I suppose.

[deadly_ned]

A supervillain Warden?

[megamind]

We had a man who had killed millions of people in the name of peace singlehandedly. Supervillainy is-- well, it's not so bad, in retrospect, is it?

[ He rocks on his heels, as the conversation turns awkward ] Besides, now I can use my evil things.... for good purposes. Intent is important!

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker thought of the girl named Chuck, whom he loved and had risen from the dead at a cost of another man's life. Murder, for the sake of love. In response to the supervillain called Megamind, he only answered,]


Intent is important.

[megamind]

Yes. So it is. Like -- why do you give a stranger pie? Graduation is worth celebrating, but-- right now, nobody really... has the energy.

[ Even he's not so manic as he has been in the past; his hands are mostly still-- when they gesture, it's expansive but not fast. ]

But as middle of the road things-- good on you but let's not raise the roof-- it's pretty good.

[deadly_ned]

Pie isn't so much a celebratory food. Cake is celebratory.

Pie is home. People want to feel like they're a step closer to home once they graduate.

[megamind]

Home's on fire. Not lookin' forward to that mess, lemme tell ya.

[ He tilts his head, apparently contemplating the pie. His eyes half-lid, as he lets himself find a memory. Or maybe a few of them. ]

I am, by the way, all of thirty-five years old, and I have had pie a total of twenty-three times in my life. It was a thing -- we couldn't do. Minion eventually discovered canning, but seasonal and fresh fruit? Harder to come by-- especially between lock up. It was a special treat that we could arrange a time when I was out of prison, between schemes, and he had time to bake and see me eat it.






... I really hope he's there, when I go back.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker went silent, rather than incriminate himself on his own way of gathering fresh fruit.]

Well.

Now it's twenty-four.


And...

You won't know until you go back.

I wish I could offer something more helpful than that but the truth is I don't know and I'd rather offer you the truth than lie.

[megamind]

Yeah. I know.

So, what kind of pie?

[ He might be idly finger-walking his hands over the counter toward said pie. Like a thief, even. Never mind that it's his-- you can take the villain out of the prison, but you can't take the prisoner out of the villain, okay. ]

Or is magical barge pie?

[deadly_ned]

Chocolate. I took a gamble and figured chocolate.

[The Piemaker knows that look. Figuring to at least casually play with the supervillain, he takes the pie - meant for Megamind, mind - and moves it gently to the other side of the counter, out of reach. The supervillain was like a cat; show them something they couldn't have and they went out of their minds to get it]

I don't know what magical barge pie would taste like.

[megamind]

[ It's like the red laser dot for the cat. He's taunted, and he's moving to the side a little. The brainbots watch in somehing like mechanical amusement. ]

Probably like a magical barge, which is not a taste I am entirely interested in. Chocolate, though, you can't really go wrong.

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker, suppressing a smile, leaves the pie where it is. If the supergenius called Megamind gets too close, he'll move it again]

No. Everyone at least...tolerates it.

Congratulations, warden.

[megamind]

[ Megamind an a brainbot exchange glances, and there's a little head nudge-- before one floats to one side... and the other floats to the other side... Yeah, he's not above a flanking maneuver. ]

Thanks.

[ Though he's not sure how to feel about it some days, he knows for certain: he's glad the whole lack-of-freedom bits of being an inmate are over. ]

Now, don't make me revert and hold you hostage for the pie, Piemaker.

[deadly_ned]

[Suppressing a smirk, the Piemaker circles his arm around the pie, curious about who's the better pastry strategist]

You'd be surprised what I've been able to struggle out of.

[megamind]

[ There is a big red eye right here, man. It's eyeing so hard. ]

Ah, ah, it's not nice to offer something and then take it away. I suppose I'll have to take drastic measures then...

[ Time to get the DE-Gun out, and pick a setting, hmmm.... ]

[deadly_ned]

[That eye is creepy. The Piemaker reaches into his apron and drapes a napkin over it]

Who's taking it away?

[Casual slide of the pie so that his body is blocking it from immediate access]

[megamind]

[ Brainbot goes BLIND. It abruptly veers off, limbs flailing at it's face. and smacks into a wall. Megamind winces. ]

Gonna have to work on that 'how to remove a napkin' logic process.

[ Ahem. ]

My pie. You're hiding my pie, Piemaker, and that's not okay. I could take Riddick's hostage, but he's a pal, so...

[deadly_ned]

[The Piemaker winces as well. He hadn't meant to hurt the poor brainbot]

I. That was. I'm sorry. I didn't expect it to panic.

Ah. Yes. I. I am, aren't I?

[Using two fingers, the Piemaker steers the pie back to Megamind]

You make a compelling argument.