deadly_ned | 001

[Young Ned was eight years, one hundred and twelve days, ten hours, and twenty-three minutes old when he took a ride on his first boat. It was, he recalled, little bigger than a ferry, and had been a part of a seaside vacation with his mother. The waves had rocked the little boat, the ride was lonely and boring, and his beloved dog, Digby, wasn't there to play with him. Young Ned hadn't liked it. He liked it even less thirty-three minutes later when he promptly vomited over the starboard bow.

It is now fifty-eight minutes and twenty seconds since the Piemaker arrived on the Barge via the mysterious and altogether rather upsetting administrations of the ship's administrator, the Admiral. He was having...difficulty adjusting to the change. And while this boat was significantly larger and more stable than the tiny boat that had rocked so violently all those years ago, he discovered to his unhappiness that the waves, too, had increased in size and threat.]

I think I'm going to vomit.

Which is not to say I'm seasick. I'm not. The boat is stable. Surprisingly. I'm sick because I'm slow to adjusting to change and this is a...big, big change and a new beginning and I do not...I'm not a fan of new beginnings.

Ah.

Hello. My name is Ned. It's um. I would say it's nice to be here but I've just had two different people...sing at me very loudly and that's. Upsetting. And not at all nice.

I will try to make things nicer while I'm here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

deadly_ned

I can see how that would be awkward. But in the spirit of making you feel less awkward about your death, you're not the first and you won't be the last person to die from their own invention. It's more common than you'd think.

From:

megamind

That does not make me feel better about it, you know.

From:

deadly_ned

Franz Reichelt was a French inventor of a type of parachute died when he tried to use it to jump off the Eiffel tower.

Jimi Heselden, owner of the Segway corporation died when he ran his Segway off a cliff.

From:

megamind

I created a superhero who went evil, I didn't run myself off a cliff!

From:

deadly_ned

A metaphorical cliff.

From:

megamind

No cliffs were involved.

From:

deadly_ned

Except the one you were metaphorically thrown down by your created superhero when your invention spun out of control on its little wheels and took you right over with it.

From:

megamind

You're really pushing this metaphor a little too hard.

From:

deadly_ned

I prefer the term 'gently nudging' as opposed to 'push.'

Anyway.

Death by superhero is a new one. For, uh. Me, at least.

From:

megamind

Yeah, I'm guessing you don't have the caped set where you're from.

From:

deadly_ned

No. Ours was strictly a no-capes zone. Unless you consider the Medieval Times Faire, which you shouldn't because that place is terrifying.

From:

megamind

Never been. That sort of thing isn't really-- my thing.

From:

deadly_ned

No. Really isn't my thing either. Shouldn't be anyone's thing, but it is. Was.

What is your thing?

From:

megamind

Supervillainy. With a background of heavy metal and awesomeness.

From:

deadly_ned

The heavy metal part is throwing me.

You were a supervillain. Who was....really into rock music?

From:

megamind

Do you have a problem with rock music?

From:

deadly_ned

I absolutely do not have a problem with rock music.

I'm just trying to understand the overall theme here.

From:

megamind

Rock n' roll! The music of rebels! Come on! AC/DC is practically a gang of supervillains in their own right.

From:

deadly_ned

I was never very much of a rebel. Rock music sort of...skipped me by.

I'm aware that this makes me a less interesting person by comparison.

From:

megamind

You do seem rather, uh... milquetoast.

Just sayin'.

From:

deadly_ned

I'm not. Really. Or at least I'm trying not to be. Sort of. Maybe I am.

....Look, this is a ship full of people who do terrible things to each other for fun and games. Isn't it better to be seen as someone who no one in their right mind would want to bother than to purposely go out of my way to be an establishing break-out character and thus win the hearts and targets of a few less than savory characters?